Yo Mamma is so skinny... (1)
Yo Mamma is so skinny,
she only has one stripe on her pajamas.
Yo Mamma is so skinny,
she can dodge rain drops.
Yo Mamma is so skinny,
she can see out the peephole with both eyes.
Yo Mamma is so skinny,
when she wore her yellow dress, she looked like a #2 pencil.
Yo Mamma is so skinny,
if she turned sideways and stuck out her tongue, she would look like a zipper.
Yo Mamma is so skinny,
if she had a sesame seed on her head, she'd look like a push pin.
Yo Mamma is so skinny,
she looks like a mic stand.
Yo Mamma is so skinny,
she turned sideways and disappeared.
Yo Mamma is so skinny,
her nipples touch.
Yo Mamma is so skinny,
I could blind-fold her with dental floss.
Yo Mamma is so short... (1)
Yo Mama's so short,
she poses for trophies.
Yo Mama's so short,
when she sneezes, she hits her head on the floor.
Yo Mama's so short,
she can limbo under the door.
Yo Mama's so short,
she does pull-ups on a staple.
Yo Mama's so short,
she can do push-ups under the door.
Yo Mama's so short,
she don't roll dice, she pushes them.
Yo Mama's so short,
when I was dissin' her she tried to jump kick me in the ankle.
Yo Mama's so short,
she can play handball on the curb.
Yo Mama's so short,
she has to cuff her underwear.
Yo Mama's so short,
I'm nuts over her.
Yo Mamma is so smelly... (1)
Yo Mamma is so smelly,
the only dis I want to give her is a disinfectant.
Yo Mamma is so smelly,
she made her Right Guard call for backup.
Yo Mamma is so smelly,
a blind man walking by her asked "How much for the shrimp platter?"
Yo Mamma is so smelly,
next to her a skunk smells sweet.
Yo Mamma is so smelly,
that her shit is glad to escape.
Yo Mamma is so smelly,
she was playing in a sand box and a cat came along and buried her.
Yo Mamma is so smelly,
when she spreads her legs I get sea sick.
Yo Mamma is so smelly,
she made Right Guard go left, Speed Stick slow down, and Ban come off strike.
Yo Mamma is so smelly,
when you were being delivered, the doctor was wearing the oxygen mask.
Yo Mamma is so smelly,
even dogs won't sniff her crotch.
Yo Mamma is so hairy... (1)
Yo Mama's so hairy,
she looks like Bigfoot in a tank top.
Yo Mama's so hairy,
her armpits look like she has Don King in a headlock.
Yo Mama's so hairy,
she looks like a Chia pet with a sweater on.
Yo Mama's so hairy,
they filmed "Gorillas in the Mist" in her shower.
Yo Mama's so hairy,
when I took her to a pet store they locked her in a cage.
Yo Mama's so hairy,
she has afros on her nipples.
Yo Mama's so hairy,
when she went to Remington and said "Shave this!" the salesman died laughing.
Yo Mama's so hairy,
if she could fly she'd look like a magic carpet.
Yo Mama's so hairy,
when she goes to the circus the bearded lady protests against non-union workers.
Yo Mama's so hairy,
Bigfoot took a picture of her.
Yo Mamma is so nasty... (1)
Yo Mamma is so nasty,
a skunk smelled her as* and passed out.
Yo Mamma is so nasty,
her t*ts give sour milk.
Yo Mamma is so nasty,
I talked to her over the computer and she gave me a virus.
Yo Mamma is so nasty,
she bought her boyfriend kneepads for Christmas.
Yo Mamma is so nasty,
she calls Janet "Miss Jackson."
Yo Mamma is so nasty,
she has a sign by her p*ssy that says: "Warning: May cause irritation, drowsiness, and a rash or breakouts."
Yo Mamma is so nasty,
she bit the dog and gave it rabies.
Yo Mamma is so nasty,
she breeds crabs.
Yo Mamma is so nasty,
I called her up for phone s*x and she gave me an ear infection.
Yo Mamma is so nasty,
her crabs use her tampon string as a bungee cord.
Yo Mamma is so poor... (1)
Yo Mamma is so poor,
she can't afford to pay attention!
Yo Mamma is so poor,
when she goes to KFC, she has to lick other people's fingers!
Yo Mamma is so poor,
her face is on the front of a foodstamp.
Yo Mamma is so poor,
she drives a peanut.
Yo Mamma is so poor,
when I saw her kicking a can down the street, I asked her what she was doing, she said "Moving."
Yo Mamma is so poor,
she went to McDonald's and put a milkshake on layaway.
Yo Mamma is so poor,
she waves around a popsicle stick and calls it air conditioning.
Yo Mamma is so poor,
she was in K-Mart with a box of Hefty bags. I said, "What ya doin'?" She said, "Buying luggage."
Yo Mamma is so poor,
your family ate cereal with a fork to save milk.
Yo Mamma is so poor,
when I ring the doorbell she says,"DING!"
Yo Momma is so fat... (1)
Yo Momma is so fat,
it takes an hour to download a picture of her from the Internet!
Yo Momma is so fat,
The National Weather Agency assigns names to her farts!
Yo Momma is so fat,
when she weighs herself the scale says "To be continued..."
Yo Momma is so fat,
when she sits on a dollar, blood rushes out George Washington's nose!
Yo Momma is so fat,
she was born with a silver shovel in her mouth!
Yo Momma is so fat,
her belly-button doesn't have lint, it has sweaters!
Yo Momma is so fat,
when she walks in front of the TV you miss out on 3 commercials!
Yo Momma is so fat,
people jog around her for exercise!
Yo Momma is so fat,
she makes big bird look like a rubber duckie!
Yo Momma is so fat,
she plays pool with the planets!
Yo Mamma is so ugly... (1)
Yo Mamma is so ugly,
even a blind man wouldn't have s*x with her.
Yo Mamma is so ugly,
her dentist treats her by mail-order.
Yo Mamma is so ugly,
her pillow cries at night.
Yo Mamma is so ugly,
even the elephant man paid to see her.
Yo Mamma is so ugly,
her shadow quit.
Yo Mamma is so ugly,
her mom had to be drunk to breast feed her.
Yo Mamma is so ugly,
her face is closed on weekends!
Yo Mamma is so ugly,
Greenpeace mistook her for an endangered elephant.
Yo Mamma is so ugly,
even the tide won't come back in.
Yo Mamma is so ugly,
even Bill Clinton wouldn't sleep with her.
Yo Mamma is so stupid... (1)
Yo Mamma is so stupid,
at bottom of application where it says Sign Here - she put Sagittarius.
Yo Mamma is so stupid,
when I gave her a dollar and asked for a quarter back, she gave me Dan Marino.
Yo Mamma is so stupid,
I saw her walking down the street yelling into an envelope, asked what she was doing, and she said sending a voice mail.
Yo Mamma is so stupid,
I told her Christmas was just around the corner and she went looking for it.
Yo Mamma is so stupid,
I taught her how to do the running man and I haven't seen the b*tch since.
Yo Mamma is so stupid,
her shirt says TGIF- t*ts go in first.
Yo Mamma is so stupid,
her shoes say TGIF- toes go in front.
Yo Mamma is so stupid,
I saw her in the frozen food section with a fishing rod.
Yo Mamma is so stupid,
her idea of safe s*x is locking the car doors.
Yo Mamma is so stupid,
that under "Education" on her job application, she put "Hooked on Phonics."
Yo Mamma is so old... (1)
Yo Mamma is so old,
her memory is in black and white.
Yo Mamma is so old,
she drove a chariot to high school.
Yo Mamma is so old,
she has a Jesus Starter jacket.
Yo Mamma is so old,
she owes Fred Flintstone a food stamp.
Yo Mamma is so old,
she walked into an antique store and they kept her.
Yo Mamma is so old,
she used to baby-sit Yoda.
Yo Mamma is so old,
she DJ'd at the Boston Tea Party.
Yo Mamma is so old,
she took her drivers test on a dinosaur.
Yo Mamma is so old,
she needed a walker when Jesus was still in diapers.
Yo Mamma is so old,
Jurassic Park brought back memories.
